Things I Never Thought I'd Say

A running list of phrases I have found coming out of my mouth for whatever the situation currently is while raising a little boy - full of giggles, joy, wonder & love, with a tiny dash of chaos.

1. We aren't dipping the Ritz cracker in ketchup.
   Bonus: "I'm saying no to the question. I understand, I do not need the hand gesture. It's still the no." [when he added in a hand motion to the repeated phrase "dip it" and a point to the fridge.
   
   
2. Please take the cracker out of your ear. It goes in your mouth, or on your tray.
   
   
3. If you pee on your shirt on purpose while I'm changing your diaper, you're wearing a shirt with pee on it today. That's life.
   
   
4. I don't make the rules. Well, that's a lie I do make your rules. But I didn't make this one.
   
   
5. I'm sorry we have housing and do not live outside.
   
   
6. I'm sorry we can't breathe underwater like fish do, to be able to always be in a body of water. And, so you don't drown. I know, I agree that it's unfair and I am sorry.